A Cool Valedictorian Speech

First making you aware I could have been valedictorian if I even remotely tried but I didn't want to be, yadda yadda to stroke my fragile ego, I will now state what I wish just one valedictorian would say at the end of their speech.
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Fellow graduates, I now would like to break tradition with all valedictorians before who have told you as we move forward to aim high for if you fall then at least you can say you reached for the stars and urge you in the strongest terms possible to aim for a building no higher than two stories for then if you fall, you'll most likely just break your legs instead of being splattered all over the street in some unidentifiable mess like so much road kill.
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That, to me, would be one cool valedictorian.