I've been out walking
I don't do that much talking these days
These days--
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to
And I had a lover
I don’t think I’ll risk another these days
These days--
Now if I seem to be afraid
To live the life I have made in song
Well it's just that I've been losing for so long
I'll keep on moving
Things are bound to be improving these days
One of these days--
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten
Please don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them
Sunday, November 23, 2008
At Movies: Large Soda Cup - Medium Soda Aount
So I'm at the movies and order a large drink that I'm paying off in installments and I notice how much of the cup is NOT filled with soda. This happens a lot, life is life, but I always feel like saying:
I'm sure this is strictly my fault. I'm taking classes to improve my communication skills, but I meant I wanted a large drink in a large drink cup, not a medium drink in the large cup.
Anyone else feel like doing that. No? Just me? Well I was kidding. So there.
I'm sure this is strictly my fault. I'm taking classes to improve my communication skills, but I meant I wanted a large drink in a large drink cup, not a medium drink in the large cup.
Anyone else feel like doing that. No? Just me? Well I was kidding. So there.
HBO Chicago Cubs Special - Am I The Perv?
Maybe my mind’s in the gutter but….
I was watching an HBO documentary about The Chicago Cubs long history of, well, blowing it. They spoke with players, sports personalities, fans, etc.
They ESPECIALLY spoke about their 1969 season when they seemed to have the National League title sewn up, but blew it and the Mets won.
So, anyway, now it’s for you to decide, me or him.
They spoke with this one fan who present day went to some baseball camp with his childhood heroes and, when speaking of it, said:
"It was great, they showed me pointers on batting, how to field grounders…and we talked 69."
My mind at this point was no longer on the Cubs. But is that my fault? Especially since it wasn’t written and therefore no apostrophe was seen before the 69 like so: ‘69?
I really think the man should have qualified with the 69 season or 1969 or even we spoke about 69 in the baseball way—Wait, that one wouldn’t work as people use baseball as a metaphor for “it”.
So, me or him?
I was watching an HBO documentary about The Chicago Cubs long history of, well, blowing it. They spoke with players, sports personalities, fans, etc.
They ESPECIALLY spoke about their 1969 season when they seemed to have the National League title sewn up, but blew it and the Mets won.
So, anyway, now it’s for you to decide, me or him.
They spoke with this one fan who present day went to some baseball camp with his childhood heroes and, when speaking of it, said:
"It was great, they showed me pointers on batting, how to field grounders…and we talked 69."
My mind at this point was no longer on the Cubs. But is that my fault? Especially since it wasn’t written and therefore no apostrophe was seen before the 69 like so: ‘69?
I really think the man should have qualified with the 69 season or 1969 or even we spoke about 69 in the baseball way—Wait, that one wouldn’t work as people use baseball as a metaphor for “it”.
So, me or him?
An Inchworm Attempts To Cross A Road
I was taking a walk the other day when I came upon an inchworm attempting to cross the road. His head would look left and after a moment would right. And then he’d do it again. (He may have been a she. I’m not an expert on inchworm sex parts. But as I am a He, that’s how my mind thinks. Reference post about why men who refer to god as she are just trying to get laid.)
So one-way he turns, then the other. I could almost hear the violin they use in cartoons. Up it goes when turning left….and down it goes when turning right.
And the suddenly, with a NOW!!! It starts wiggling its way across the road. About 6 inches out, it would scream out CAR! CAR! CAR! and back its way to the side again, as a car passed. And then he’d be right back at it. Look left, look right, the violin following up and down, then scream NOW, wiggle his way about six inches, shout CAR! CAR! CAR! and back his way to the side again.
I really admired the little guy. Roads are what, roughly 12 feet or so across? This is quite a move. And considering his mile-per-hour ratio and the type of traffic this road had, the odds of him ever moving beyond 6 inches was slim to none…and yet still he tried.
As I watched him, it was my hope this wasn’t just a geographical move to leave his problems behind here and wished I could have given him a copy of Wherever You Go, There You Are! It wouldn’t have mattered I realized. Everyone has to find this out on his or her own.
After a half-hour, it was clear he wasn’t going to make it across, so I stepped on it to put him out of his misery.
Relax PETA MEMBERS, I didn’t step on him. He threw himself under my shoe shouting ‘Vive La Revolution”…which really makes no sense, but since this little fella did in general speak French and I’m way-over-tired, I figure why not.
It is all true about him looking left and right, wiggling out, then backing up when a car came. It pretty neat and wild…and after the half-hour, he simply gave up and headed off. Who knows? As I write this, he could be in Hollywood getting some headshots done.
BY THE WAY: Inchworm? It’s not an inch. I measured. Does NO ONE take pride in their job anymore? I’ve come to accept vague, close enoughs from weatherman, but I draw the line here…and the line I draw IS an inch exactly.
So one-way he turns, then the other. I could almost hear the violin they use in cartoons. Up it goes when turning left….and down it goes when turning right.
And the suddenly, with a NOW!!! It starts wiggling its way across the road. About 6 inches out, it would scream out CAR! CAR! CAR! and back its way to the side again, as a car passed. And then he’d be right back at it. Look left, look right, the violin following up and down, then scream NOW, wiggle his way about six inches, shout CAR! CAR! CAR! and back his way to the side again.
I really admired the little guy. Roads are what, roughly 12 feet or so across? This is quite a move. And considering his mile-per-hour ratio and the type of traffic this road had, the odds of him ever moving beyond 6 inches was slim to none…and yet still he tried.
As I watched him, it was my hope this wasn’t just a geographical move to leave his problems behind here and wished I could have given him a copy of Wherever You Go, There You Are! It wouldn’t have mattered I realized. Everyone has to find this out on his or her own.
After a half-hour, it was clear he wasn’t going to make it across, so I stepped on it to put him out of his misery.
Relax PETA MEMBERS, I didn’t step on him. He threw himself under my shoe shouting ‘Vive La Revolution”…which really makes no sense, but since this little fella did in general speak French and I’m way-over-tired, I figure why not.
It is all true about him looking left and right, wiggling out, then backing up when a car came. It pretty neat and wild…and after the half-hour, he simply gave up and headed off. Who knows? As I write this, he could be in Hollywood getting some headshots done.
BY THE WAY: Inchworm? It’s not an inch. I measured. Does NO ONE take pride in their job anymore? I’ve come to accept vague, close enoughs from weatherman, but I draw the line here…and the line I draw IS an inch exactly.
Great Movie Moment - Independence Day
Independence Day – Knowing when to fold ‘em
Okay, so, I’m sure a few of you have heard of the little movie Independence Day starring this small time actor Will Smith….and that’s funny because it’s actually a huge movie with one of the world’s biggest stars, Will Smith.
The wit and wisdom of me.
So, Randy Quaid plays a former Air Force pilot who was in Vietnam turned alcoholic crop duster who keeps insisting he was captured by aliens. And people of course roll their eyes.
So, now, it’s late in the movie, 15 mile long and wide space ships have planted themselves above strategic places all over the world and blown many parts of it to kingdom come through beams from the ships themselves or from small fighter saucers that exit the bigger ships and take on Earthling pilots in dogfights.
So, we’re heading into the showdown. They’ve found a weakness but need pilots. Randy Quaid says he’ll be one of them, as he was one in Vietnam and also has a special knowledge of aliens as he was captured by them once.
The response:
They STILL rolls their eyes.
If people aren’t going to believe you after the world’s been decimated by ALIENS, people who are now asking you to volunteer to fight ALIENS, it’s time to hang up the story because THEY NEVER WILL.
(As the humor is broad and the makers known only for action and broad humor, I really don't believe their joke went any further than the eye roll...but I could be wrong.)
Okay, so, I’m sure a few of you have heard of the little movie Independence Day starring this small time actor Will Smith….and that’s funny because it’s actually a huge movie with one of the world’s biggest stars, Will Smith.
The wit and wisdom of me.
So, Randy Quaid plays a former Air Force pilot who was in Vietnam turned alcoholic crop duster who keeps insisting he was captured by aliens. And people of course roll their eyes.
So, now, it’s late in the movie, 15 mile long and wide space ships have planted themselves above strategic places all over the world and blown many parts of it to kingdom come through beams from the ships themselves or from small fighter saucers that exit the bigger ships and take on Earthling pilots in dogfights.
So, we’re heading into the showdown. They’ve found a weakness but need pilots. Randy Quaid says he’ll be one of them, as he was one in Vietnam and also has a special knowledge of aliens as he was captured by them once.
The response:
They STILL rolls their eyes.
If people aren’t going to believe you after the world’s been decimated by ALIENS, people who are now asking you to volunteer to fight ALIENS, it’s time to hang up the story because THEY NEVER WILL.
(As the humor is broad and the makers known only for action and broad humor, I really don't believe their joke went any further than the eye roll...but I could be wrong.)
Private Public Cpnversations
So I'm riding the commuter train to Boston...
I should start by stating I'm sure I am one of the people who have private public conversations, so I'm not saying 'they' as in not me too. In fact since I like to write, I listen in hoping for nice little tidbits I can claim I wrote.
But I suppose listening in's the name of the game today. We're so bored with the boring conversations we have, we want to hear the boring conversations other people have.
As Pete Townshend sang in a lyric to the song Naked Eye: The world begins behind your neighbor’s wall.
Which leads me back to....
I'm riding the commuter train into Boston the other day and this woman is talking with her friends LOUDLY, not in a manner that would require me or anyone in the whole compartment to listen in...or any other compartment...or various train stops, quickly passing town centers, huge airplanes taking off from Logan...
Anyway, she says after her friend brings up a woman named Lisa: (this is a virtual quote)
Oh, my god. Lisa is a CRONIC liar. I mean it, not just liar, but chronic. She will say anything that will help her get ahead. Don't get me wrong. She's a great person and one of my good friends...
(Now how could I get you wrong?)
Her friend who's speaking fairly quietly as the person she's needs to hear is only two feet away and therefore, try as I might, I could only pick up a bit of what she said. The jist being:
Lisa has been moved into her department at work.
The loud woman bursts in:
Watch out for her. I'm telling you, she'll pretend to be your best friend just so she can stab you in the back when the right time comes. But, that said, she really is a good person.
(How on earth from your description could you possibly think I would get the impression Lisa is anything but a good person?)
Another time, when I was working at a movie cinema (a horrible one, one no one should ever work for. I won't tell you their name as that would be indiscrete. AMC. AMC Theaters)
A quick by the way: I understand people in a long line can receive cell phone calls when they reach the front. I mean, what are you gonna do? Oh, wait, I know. CALL THEM BACK. Or step out of line when I inform you as soon as you are ready I will take you immediately...and the thing is: IT'S NEVER ANYTHING IMPORTANT.
Here's the real kicker: When someone in a long line waits til they're at the front to MAKE A CALL.
Anyway, my quick by the way is over:
So, one of these people who MAKES a call when they reach the front speaks with a friend. I only hear his side of course.
Oh, jeez. Bob got caught cheating. With Linda? Linda?!! You're sure. Why her? She's not even that good looking.
(As if there's some "get out of cheating" card if someone is good looking. As if it would make it all okay, but now the guy's stuck his foot in it.)
Then he moves on:
No, not Richie. And they're sure? Testicular cancer.
(then he covers the phone and says to me)
That reminds me, I'll have some Bon Bons.
Okay, the Bon Bon thing didn't happen, but everything else did.
I fear we are finding ourselves ever closer to a version of 'if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?' to...
If a life is not seen or heard, is it lived?
I should start by stating I'm sure I am one of the people who have private public conversations, so I'm not saying 'they' as in not me too. In fact since I like to write, I listen in hoping for nice little tidbits I can claim I wrote.
But I suppose listening in's the name of the game today. We're so bored with the boring conversations we have, we want to hear the boring conversations other people have.
As Pete Townshend sang in a lyric to the song Naked Eye: The world begins behind your neighbor’s wall.
Which leads me back to....
I'm riding the commuter train into Boston the other day and this woman is talking with her friends LOUDLY, not in a manner that would require me or anyone in the whole compartment to listen in...or any other compartment...or various train stops, quickly passing town centers, huge airplanes taking off from Logan...
Anyway, she says after her friend brings up a woman named Lisa: (this is a virtual quote)
Oh, my god. Lisa is a CRONIC liar. I mean it, not just liar, but chronic. She will say anything that will help her get ahead. Don't get me wrong. She's a great person and one of my good friends...
(Now how could I get you wrong?)
Her friend who's speaking fairly quietly as the person she's needs to hear is only two feet away and therefore, try as I might, I could only pick up a bit of what she said. The jist being:
Lisa has been moved into her department at work.
The loud woman bursts in:
Watch out for her. I'm telling you, she'll pretend to be your best friend just so she can stab you in the back when the right time comes. But, that said, she really is a good person.
(How on earth from your description could you possibly think I would get the impression Lisa is anything but a good person?)
Another time, when I was working at a movie cinema (a horrible one, one no one should ever work for. I won't tell you their name as that would be indiscrete. AMC. AMC Theaters)
A quick by the way: I understand people in a long line can receive cell phone calls when they reach the front. I mean, what are you gonna do? Oh, wait, I know. CALL THEM BACK. Or step out of line when I inform you as soon as you are ready I will take you immediately...and the thing is: IT'S NEVER ANYTHING IMPORTANT.
Here's the real kicker: When someone in a long line waits til they're at the front to MAKE A CALL.
Anyway, my quick by the way is over:
So, one of these people who MAKES a call when they reach the front speaks with a friend. I only hear his side of course.
Oh, jeez. Bob got caught cheating. With Linda? Linda?!! You're sure. Why her? She's not even that good looking.
(As if there's some "get out of cheating" card if someone is good looking. As if it would make it all okay, but now the guy's stuck his foot in it.)
Then he moves on:
No, not Richie. And they're sure? Testicular cancer.
(then he covers the phone and says to me)
That reminds me, I'll have some Bon Bons.
Okay, the Bon Bon thing didn't happen, but everything else did.
I fear we are finding ourselves ever closer to a version of 'if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?' to...
If a life is not seen or heard, is it lived?
Imagine A Man - The Who (words by Pete Townshend)
Imagine a man
Not a child of any revolt
But a plain man tied up in life
Imagine the sand
Running out as he struts
Parading and fading, ignoring his wife
Imagine a road
So long looking backwards
You can't see where it really began
Imagine a load
So large and so smooth
That against it a man is an ant
Imagine events
That occur everyday
Like a shooting or raping or a simple act of deceit
Imagine a fence
Around you as high as prevention
Casting shadows, you can't see your feet
Imagine a girl
You long for and have
And the body of chalky perfection and truth
Imagine a past
Where you wish you had lived
Full of heroes and villains and fools
Imagine a man
Not a child of any revolt
But a man of today feeling new
Imagine a soul
So old it is broken
And you will know your invention is you
And you will see the end
Yes, you will see the end
Not a child of any revolt
But a plain man tied up in life
Imagine the sand
Running out as he struts
Parading and fading, ignoring his wife
Imagine a road
So long looking backwards
You can't see where it really began
Imagine a load
So large and so smooth
That against it a man is an ant
Imagine events
That occur everyday
Like a shooting or raping or a simple act of deceit
Imagine a fence
Around you as high as prevention
Casting shadows, you can't see your feet
Imagine a girl
You long for and have
And the body of chalky perfection and truth
Imagine a past
Where you wish you had lived
Full of heroes and villains and fools
Imagine a man
Not a child of any revolt
But a man of today feeling new
Imagine a soul
So old it is broken
And you will know your invention is you
And you will see the end
Yes, you will see the end
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