An Inchworm Attempts To Cross A Road

I was taking a walk the other day when I came upon an inchworm attempting to cross the road. His head would look left and after a moment would right. And then he’d do it again. (He may have been a she. I’m not an expert on inchworm sex parts. But as I am a He, that’s how my mind thinks. Reference post about why men who refer to god as she are just trying to get laid.)

So one-way he turns, then the other. I could almost hear the violin they use in cartoons. Up it goes when turning left….and down it goes when turning right.

And the suddenly, with a NOW!!! It starts wiggling its way across the road. About 6 inches out, it would scream out CAR! CAR! CAR! and back its way to the side again, as a car passed. And then he’d be right back at it. Look left, look right, the violin following up and down, then scream NOW, wiggle his way about six inches, shout CAR! CAR! CAR! and back his way to the side again.

I really admired the little guy. Roads are what, roughly 12 feet or so across? This is quite a move. And considering his mile-per-hour ratio and the type of traffic this road had, the odds of him ever moving beyond 6 inches was slim to none…and yet still he tried.

As I watched him, it was my hope this wasn’t just a geographical move to leave his problems behind here and wished I could have given him a copy of Wherever You Go, There You Are! It wouldn’t have mattered I realized. Everyone has to find this out on his or her own.

After a half-hour, it was clear he wasn’t going to make it across, so I stepped on it to put him out of his misery.

Relax PETA MEMBERS, I didn’t step on him. He threw himself under my shoe shouting ‘Vive La Revolution”…which really makes no sense, but since this little fella did in general speak French and I’m way-over-tired, I figure why not.

It is all true about him looking left and right, wiggling out, then backing up when a car came. It pretty neat and wild…and after the half-hour, he simply gave up and headed off. Who knows? As I write this, he could be in Hollywood getting some headshots done.

BY THE WAY: Inchworm? It’s not an inch. I measured. Does NO ONE take pride in their job anymore? I’ve come to accept vague, close enoughs from weatherman, but I draw the line here…and the line I draw IS an inch exactly.