4:30am at Dunkin' Donuts

It’s 4:30am and I’m at a Dunkin’ Donuts, which can only mean 3 things: I’m an insomniac, waiting for my drug dealer, or an insomniac who’s waiting for my drug dealer.

I assure you, it’s not my drug dealer…he’s not answering his beeper. Bang-Zoom-and that’s what Dave Letterman called The Pyramid Of Comedy. This clearly was one of the foundation blocks. (Remember that? When he had Biff dress up in an ancient-Egyptian-looking hat and he would build a pyramid from the worst jokes up? No? Maybe YouTube…Maybe I’m just old.

Any other insomniacs out there? Raise your hand. A few kindred spirits. Any people out there who get a full night’s sleep? Don't be shy. No, huh? Oh, right, you're ASLEEP.

So insomnia, not a fan. A troubled mind? Soul? Or simply, the apnea a sleep-study I took decided?

Whatever the reason, it leaves me awake and here at Dunkin’ Donuts with a strange and motley assortment of people like that guy in the corner with jiggling leg, stained blue t-shirt, obnoxiously small-sipping his coffee every time to see if it’s too hot before taking a semi-full sip...and he bought it a half-hour ago, and writing something really stupid about insomniacs on his cheap laptop computer.

Did you see that? How I lead it back to me? That's another building block on The Pyramid Of Comedy.

Well, if there are any other insomniacs out there. Love’d to hear from you and all your stories of woe…and any solutions like rubbing the belly of a toad on the back of my neck.