On The Exercise Wagon

And my Self returned...on his knees, groveling returned. Just like I knew...Me too. Tell you the truth, we're glad to have him back. Me, my Self, and I is much better than Me and I.

Anyway,

I’ve been on the exercise wagon since last post now. God has it been that long already? No, I hurt my back and was out of the body business. What’s that? There are plenty of other exercises to do. Yeah, well, there is a bit of tru—Shut up.

So, I gained back a lot of weight I lost. What’s that? How’d I gain the weight to begin with? Well, there — Hey, wait a minute take off the hood. I knew it. You’re the same person who spoke up earlier. I thought I recognized the voice. Oh, god, not the psychiatrist from last post. SHUT UP!

So--Are you going to interrupt? No? Thank you.

Continuing on…after some physical therapy, I found this amazing store called Good Feet (free advert there - think it's just local though) that fit my feet with the right supports. Apparently, I tend to walk with an instep, which screwed with my arch support, my hips, my back – you know, the ole leg bone’s connected the hip bone, etc. song? It’s true. Unless of course a part of your body’s missing, then it wouldn't be true. So, okay, it’d mostly true. Everybody happy again?

So, I’ve not only been able to walk – my favorite exercise, clears the head, you get to say ‘hi’ to a lot of people you pass…who refuse to acknowledge you exist, it’s great – but I’ve been walking. I’m at 7 miles a day now.

BUT, and it’s a BIG BUT – which only makes sense, since according to the song, we all like big butts (did you see the play one words there – but, butt? That was improvisation. I completely made that up…and nothing. – That ‘improv’ thing is actually courtesy of Mr. Martin Short as the albino Vegas showman, Jackie Rogers, Jr. from SNL. Haven’t checked, but hopefully it’s on YouTube).

So, drum roll for the BIG BUT.

I go to the mall to play the good American and consume, making sure that percentage-wise, most of what I buy I do not need and never will look at let alone use.

So, I park. Fine. I get out of the car, walk toward the mall, pass the car in the spot one closer and notice the parking spot ONE closer than that is EMPTY. And get a bit pissed at myself as I could have parked there if I just hadn’t settled, if I just drove ahead a little further.

In simple terms, I was a bit pissed because I could have saved myself all of EIGHTEEN FEET of walking.

The odds of me staying on the exercise wagon? Vegas isn’t bothering.