Tip Bowls At Dunkin' Donuts

So, we all know now that in fast food places like Dunkin' Donuts, the customer is expected to add to the tip jar when a person pours you coffee so the owners don't have to pay the salary they deserve. And yes, for those of you out there saying 'this is a famous scene from 'Resevoir Dogs'', I know the scene.

My point isn't the tipping. I don't agree but I'm not going to have the workers suffer because of owners’ decisions.

So, I tip. What I want in return for my tip, however, is for them to SEE me tip. It seems most times they're moving on to a new customer or other pressing business and they DON'T SEE me tip. So, now, at the end of the night since all the tips mingle, it could be anyone's tip in the tip bowl.

I kind of want to pretend to have a coughing fit and when they come over, display my tip like a model showing a car, or rip just the tiniest, tiniest portion of a dollar bill and go "oh, darn, will you take this DOLLAR tip that I'm giving you even though it has a eentsy, weensty tear you'd need a magnifying glass to see? Would you take this, now knowing I’m the one who gave this to you.

Or maybe “accidentally” swipe the tip bowl off the counter and, down on my knees, tally the tips spread across the sticky, gucky floor OUT LOUD, keeping at bay employees who keep insisting they’ll take care of it.

ME: $3.05, $3.10 ---
THEM: (kindly touching my shoulder) Sir, please…
ME: $3.15, $3.20—
THEM: (again kindly touching my shoulder) Sir, please…
ME: Touch me again, you’ll be pulling back a bloody stump….$3.16…17…18…19.

Then as I put the money back in the bowl and place the bowl on the counter, I can say:

ME: $3.19. There’s $3.19 in tips in there, and the 65 cents I’M now adding makes it $3.84.

Of course, my tip would have to placed in by one of the police officers escorting me out of the place in handcuffs who kindly stuck his hand in my pocket and pulled it out.

UPDATE: The employees sent me a thank you note in jail…and that’s all I wanted.