The Ultimate Insult To Injury

The Injury: A bear is killed, skinned, turned into a rug with his stuffed head still attached, and tossed on the floor in front of a fire.

THE INSULT: People have sex on it.

If there’s a bear Heaven, you know it must be looking down going:

“Oh, no. No, no. Not sex. Not there. They could do it any—That’s my back for god sakes. Oh, they are. They’re doing it. And there’s no way some of those exchanged bodily fluids aren’t reaching me.

If I were given a million guesses, there is just no way I would have ever even begun to imagine this as my end. My head stuffed and hung on a wall, yes. I wouldn’t like it, but yes, that would be a guess. But this…?

I mean, seriously. THEY’VE ALREADY WON. I’m dead. They’re using my SKIN as a rug…with my head STILL ATTACHED. How creepy is that, by the way?

Well, at least they’re finally done. And, of course, they’re going again right away thanks to that lovely discovery Viagra. This is a nightmare. I’m living out an afterlife Nightmare…that I couldn’t have ever imagined…AND THIS IS BEAR HEAVEN!!!!

Truly, The Ultimate Insult To Injury