Let’s face it. The supermarket is a complex roadway system, and woe be to the person who shows up at rush hour. There aren’t two lanes for each direction, one a slow lane for people searching for a particular street, say Coffee and Tea Street.

If it were up to me, were my world, I would have them build a very elaborate walkway from the ceiling covering the whole store wear a person could walk around and, like a radio helicopter, give traffic updates:

I might want to stay away from aisle 4, as there’s a huge olive oil spill. If you’re heading to aisle 5, be ready to confront some jerk-off cart-driver whose decided to take their half out of the middle. It’s still slow going by that three cart pile up in frozen foods, and, if you’re having any ideas of heading over to produce, I’d abandon them now as that special on Provolone cheese in deli has bottlenecked all the way back to the cantaloupes. If, however, this is a must, I suggest you get off at vegetables by the string beans and work your way around backrows to radishes and oranges.

Anyway, that’s what I’d do if it were my world.